Destiny is Never Wrong
by t.nm.ec.bd
Summary: "AU. When Merlin, Queen of Camelot, world that she's built with Arthur is destroyed, what will happen when she's given the chance to fix it? Will she save her destiny? Will she make the same mistakes as before? Will she actually…save Arthur? Fem!Merlin."
1. Chapter 1

**Important:** I know women weren't made Knights in these days but I decided to mix it up a little.

**Warning: A little bit of violence and Fem Merlin. This will be AU but it will follow the storyline starting next chapter.**

I want to say thanks to a great Beta **trillion42 **her story was one of the first that got me hooked on Merlin, so please check those out :) And she also wrote the amazing summary to this story.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**

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**Chapter 1: Prologue **

**Merlin POV:**

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. We were suppose to have forever. I looked around the grounds, the same grounds where I was trained to become a Knight, where Arthur and I first meet, had our first kiss... No! I couldn't think like that I had to keep a cool head I couldn't cry over him not now. Not when I had things to do first. I had to keep strong.

Looking around I saw the people of Camelot on the ground dead or dying. Women, children, Knights. I lost everyone I loved; I was alone now.

Everything was quiet. It was a hollow silence, not the peaceful silence one hears when their content, or happy. I watched as Camelot had fallen at my feet because of me. My mistake to not see a lost cause when I saw one when looking into the cold, green eyes of Morgana.

My mistake to not use my magic so that I could give everyone an equal chance and now there was nothing I could do about it.

There were no more Knights or enemies. It was just Morgana, Mordred and me left.

Funny that those who started this war were those that stood in the end.

I didn't know where Morgana was, but I knew Mordrerd was in the dungeons, captured after what he did.

Thinking of him made my fist clench in anger around the hilt of Excalibur, that I held by my side. Turning around I headed to the dungeons. Heading up the stairs of Camelots castle I walked, passing bodies and I tried not to let my tears fall. Although it took all my will power not let out a sob when I passed the throne room.

The beautiful double doors were broken down like a strong wind had blown them outward. And I knew immediately it must have been magic, because no man could have broken them down by themselves.

Looking ahead I saw the Kings chair knocked on the ground and the Queens chair still stood.

The image was painfully accurate.

This had once been a place filled with beautiful memories and now they just filled me with sadness.

Taking a deep breathe I turned away and kept walking.

Walking through the corridors I arrived at the Cells and walked down the staircase, taking my time, and than I saw him. Crying, kneeling on the ground.

The nerve he had to shed tears after everything he's done. After everything he's done to me. Yes it might be selfish of me to think that, but he took everything from me, yet he claimed he looked up to me, respected me._ Pathetic. _

He must of heard me approach or maybe he was expecting me. I didn't know but I didn't care either way. I was glad he knew I was here, to know what his fate was.

"Emry's"

God how I had grown to hate that name. All this talk about destiny and I had failed that. I was to protect one man and I failed him along with hundreds of others.

"Don't call me that." I hissed angrily.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed. No he wasn't, but he would be...

Taking the keys from the wall I unlocked the cell door and walked in closing the door behind me.

"Get up." I whispered coldly. After everything he has done he didn't get the right to kneel before me. He wanted to fight like a man he could die like the coward he really was. I watched as he stood, stumbling and holding onto the wall to keep himself up.

"You're here to kill me." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. I didn't bother with a response. Twirling Excalibur in my hand I stepped forward. Mordred backed away walking towards the furthest corner, like that was going to save him.

"It won't bring him back!" He cried looking anywhere but me.

I couldn't hold back a sob when he said that. I knew their was nothing I could do to bring him back and it was all my fault. Seeing me falter he continued desperately. "He's gone. There's no way to bring back the dead and killing me won't help."

"No," I agreed, and seeing the surprise in his eyes when I said that I took my chance and ran my sword through him, "but it's a start." I whispered in his ear.

Looking into his eyes I saw the surprise in them. Good I wanted him to know that in this moment I wasn't a Knight protecting a kingdom. A Queen protecting her King. I was a wife avenging her husband. Stepping back I watched as he fell to his knees before me holding the wound on his stomach. Kneeling down in front of him I watched as he fought for breathe.

"Emrys.." He whispered.

"That's not my name. It never was."

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_...Why does he call me Embry's?..._

_...Because that is your name... _

_...I'm pretty sure my name's Merlin. It always has been..._

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I was never meant for this destiny. Never meant to protect anyone.

Maybe at one point in time that could have been me, but who ever that was died along with Arthur and I couldn't bring that person back.

"I want you to know, before you die, that I regret the moment I pulled you out of harms way." I could see the hurt in his eyes when I said that, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care. Maybe it was harsh to let a man know that the person he looked up to regretted the moment they became connected, but how was I suppose to feel sorry for the man who took everything from me; From Camelot.

_...There is much written about you that you have yet to read. You should not protect this boy..._

If I had just listened to that Dragon. If I had just known that when I saved that little boy so long ago from Uther, that it was the beginning of the end, I would have walked away.

Standing up, I walked out of the cell, and closed the doors behind me, never once looking back.

I knew I had to find Morgana. I had to finish this here and now.

Letting my magic guide me, I found her in Kilgharrah's old prison.

"Funny how a dragon that's been locked away for years managed to escape once you arrived in Camelot." Morgana scoffed. "How I didn't put that together is beyond me."

She had her back to me, facing the rock Kilgharrah used to always stand on when I would seek advice.

"Well I guess you weren't as clever as you were all those years ago." I replied. I knew that was a lie. Morgana had always been clever when she wanted to be. She just choose not to see the evil in people

"Perhaps." She replied turning around. She was smirking, She was always smirking these days.

I never wanted to believe that the kind and loving woman I met when I first came to Camelot was gone. How a person change so completely was always so difficult for me to understand. I had hoped that Morgana would realize her wrong ways and return to the person she was before all this, but I could see now how wrong I was. How wrong everyone was because I understood now. Had I not changed within the course of a day?

"Was it not here where you learned of your destiny, Emrys? The first day you arrived in Camelot." I hated how she made it sound like a mockery, like this was some big joke meant to be laughed at. "The destiny you failed to accomplish." She grinned, but it wasn't warm or happy it was cold and it sent a shivers down my spine. "I swear you and everybody else believes that destiny is something that's written in the stars. Don't you know? We make our own destiny."

"So, what now Morgana? Are you going to kill me? Just like you killed everyone else?!" I questioned. When she just continued to smile I could feel my temper rising. "You know you are just like Uther!"

"I am nothing like him!" She yelled, storming towards me and stopping a few feet away.

"Aren't you? You have killed so many people and yet you deny being the same as a man who killed hundreds. The only difference is the ones he killed were suspected of magic." I watched as the cold amusement from before vanished and was replaced by pure hatred. "But I do agree with you on one thing." I watched as confusion washed over her features and before I could even comprehend what was happening my left hand was outstretched and she was sent flying into the cave wall. "Our destiny isn't written In the stars."

I watched as she impacted with the wall behind her.

She fell and didn't get back up.

Looking around the cave I couldn't help but feel a sense of irony.

It all started in this very cave. Me learning about my destiny, about Mordred and here was where everything ended. I killed Morgana; Everything was over, but what was a victory without victors.

Placing my hand on Excalibur, I let out a breathe I hadn't realized I was holding. .

There was one more thing I had to do.

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After dismounting Arthur's horse, I tied it to a low hanging branch. It had taken me all night riding and the morning light was just touching the horizon.

Looking over at the Lake of Avalon, I couldn't help but just watch the gentle waves of the water. It truly was one of the most beautiful places I had every seen and yet it held so much sadness.

Pulling out Excalibur I turned it over in my hand just watching the morning light bounce of it. Arthur had fought so many people with this very sword and after he passed I took it and swore I would find Mordred and kill him with it for what he had done.

With a final glance, I took a deep breath and threw my arm back and when I swung it forward I let the sword fly out of my grasp, just like I had all those years ago.

But instead of landing in the water like I thought it would a hand reached out and caught it.

I gasped and for a brief moment I felt happy thinking it was Freya but when I looked more closely I realized the hand that caught it wasn't small or dainty. It was large and strong.

I stood frozen in shock not knowing to do. What to think but when I saw the hand start to disappear back into the lake I started to panic knowing this was the last time I would every see any part of him again.

"ARTHUR!" I screamed as loud as I could already running into the lake. "ARTHUR!"

I couldn't lose him. Not again.

Taking a deep breathe I drove under water but I couldn't see him all I saw the clear water of the lake.

I had to find him but my lungs burned with the lack of air.

Swimming back to the surface I looked to see if I could get even a glimpse of his hand, or maybe Excalibur, but there was nothing. Going back under I was filled with a sense of hopelessness. I was losing him for the second time and there was nothing I could do about it.

Screaming his name again, I felt my mouth fill with water and the air leaving my lungs but this time I didn't care.

I didn't care for the pain because that was what let me know I wasn't going mad. It let me know Arthur was real and he wasn't just a figment of my imagination. But not even I was strong enough from the cold embrace of the lake.

I knew I didn't have long but I couldn't bring myself to care. Why should I fight when their was nothing waiting for me outside this lake?

Gauis, my mother, my father, the Knights...Arthur. Everyone. They were all gone and their was nothing I could do to bring them back.

And in these last moments I couldn't help but think back to what Morgana had said.

We make our own destiny.

Maybe she was right. I couldn't change the past but maybe I could take control of my own destiny.

I smiled closing my eyes.

The last thing I saw was Arthurs beautiful face, his smile lighting up his features and the last thing I heard was the sound of giant wings flapping furiously together.

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**Please let me know what you think.**

**And sorry for any mistakes I may have missed.**

**Thank you :) Again a special thanks to trillion42. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin**

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**Chapter 2: Confusion**

**Merlin POV:**

Ow, my head was killing me.

Lifting a hand to it, I winced when I came into contact with a rather big bump.

What was going on?

The last thing I remembered was jumping into the Lake of Avalon to find Arthur, but I couldn't find him.

I had lost him. Again.

I could have sworn I touched something, but what?

Reluctantly I opened my eyes, and the first thing that greeted me was the bright blue sky.

I furrowed my brow in confusion, wondering when it got so bright out. I must have still been near Lake Avalon because I could still hear the sound of rushing water.

I was only slightly suprised when I didn't feel the tears immediately spring to my eyes.

How could one cry when their was nothing left to cry for? When you had nothing left to give, just sorrow?

I was however, startled when I heard a slight cough sound next to me.

I reached for Excalibur, cursing when my hand closed around nothing but thin air.

If only Arthur were here to see this. He would no doubt be calling me an idiot right about now and giving me another one of his famous speeches on how not to throw away your only weapon.

And not only was my weapon messing, but my armor was too. Instead, I was wearing my old servant clothes, which I hadn't wore in years. My trusted neckerchief was secured tightly around my neck.

"Ah, Merlin," I heard a voice groan.

My heart stopped in my throat and I froze. I knew that voice. I knew it well.

"Merlin," the voice groaned again. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to believe I was actually this far into grief.

It's one thing to feel a never ending pain, as if a huge piece of you was missing from the world when someone you love dies. It's another thing to hear their voice in your head, like a constant reminder that they were once alive, but aren't any longer. Hearing voices is the first sign of madness.

But was it too early to feel this type of grief? Arthur had only been dea – I mean gone – for a few days at the most. Wasn't I supposed to hear his voice when I was truly sinking into depression without him? I guess I'm more in the "shock" stage of grief at the moment, since it recently just happened. But, then again, who's to tell me what I'm supposed to feel? If I wanted to hallucinate and hear my dead husband's voice, then I damn well should be able to.

"Merlin!" the voice called again, breaking me out of my thoughts. I felt a hand grasping my shoulder, shaking me. My eyes flashed open.

Above me was an Adonis, with shining blonde hair and sky-blues that I had come to love. His face was dripping wet and some water beads rolled off his tanned face and landed on my pale one.

"A-Arthur?"

He opened his mouth tersely, probably to ask why he was soaking wet (to that, I had no idea as well), but before he could get a word out, I launched myself at him.

Alright, he could've been a hallucination. Or an evil sorcerer's trick. Or maybe we were both dead now and we're snogging by Hades' River Styx.

To be honest, I couldn't care less about any of that.

Imagine your whole world being destroyed, right in front of your eyes, by people that you've betrayed and they've betrayed you in return. Now image everything, everything you've worked for in most of your life, was suddenly just ashes in the wind and the only person left was yourself.

Now image that there was one speck of hope, one dash of faith, that immediately raises you out of this horror-show, and you know in that moment that everything might just be okay. Not brilliant, not grand, but okay. And you're just fine with that.

That's how I felt in that moment.

I assaulted Arthur's lips with my own, forcing our mouths together so hard that I almost seemed to be trying to meld them together. Feeling a little r*** and giddy from seeing him, feeling him, knowing he was there, that I actually opened my mouth a bit and swiped my tongue across his bottom lip.

I heard him make a sound, but I wasn't sure what for.

Something didn't feel right about kissing him, though. His lips didn't push as hard as mine did, and his hands weren't f*** my clothing so tight that it felt like he wasn't ever going to let go. Sure, he was kissing back, and grabbing my clothing, but something didn't seem right...something was off.

I pulled away, breathless and near-crying with joy. I looked him in the eyes, his wide shocked eyes, and suddenly my whole euphoria from before came crashing down. He wasn't staring at me with love and affection in his eyes like he usually did. He was staring at like I was insane, like kissing him wasn't normal, like...

Like we had never had kissed before.

"Um..." he said, blushing. "Merlin...why did you...not that I didn't enjoy it...but...well...?"

A smirk crossed my face. I wasn't sure what made me do it, but something, maybe an intuition, told me to.

"Just keeping you on your toes, sire."

Another blush rose on his face, before he stood up abruptly, walking to where two horses were tied up.

A suddenly thought occurred to me. Arthur was here. Arthur was alive.

But how?

It was Arthur but, but he died. Maybe_ I_ died, but that didn't explain why we were back in Camelot and why it looked like I was back to just being plain old Merlin, Arthurs trusted servant.

Maybe Lake Avalon magic reversed time and brought me back to a time where Arthur was alive and Camelot was free from war.

I shook my head lighty and stood up following Arthur to the horses. He was still looking at me weirdly and I coudn't blame him.

I probably looked a fright with my, no doubt, wild curly hair and my doopey grin. After all I had practically attacked him and if I was correct and we some how did go back in time than we weren't married or even had our first kiss, which meant the embrace we shared was higher inapproriate, but I somehow couldn't bring it in myself to care about any of that, because to me he was my husband, now and forever.

I cared only about that the love of my life was back and I wasn't going to worry about the how's and why's. Someone was giving me a second chance and I sure as Hell wasn't going to throw it away. This time I would do it right I would stop Morgana and Mordred, even if it killed me in the process. That I was sure of, I would be damned if I repeated the same mistakes twice.

"Merlin, here I am doing all the work while you stand their with that stupid smile on your face," Arthur voice shook my out of my thought. "Are you forgetting your the _servant_." Shaking my head I ordered myself to move, I was still trying to get over the shock that Arthur was here right in front of me. Alive and being a prat.

I wanted to laugh and cry and curl up in a ball until it sunk in that Arthur was here in front of me, not even ten feet away.

"Of course, Arthur." My grin was so wide I thought my checks would stay like that forever. Just saying his name made me feel like everything was okay again. Like nothing could hurt me anymore.

Arthur just rolled his eyes at me and quickly walked over to the lake, but no matter how many times I pinched myself I coudn't stop. He was here and I could feel my fingers twitching from the effort of not throwing my arms around him and never letting go.

"So tell me again why we are out in the middle of no where?" Arthur asked looking out into the lake as I walked to the two horses tied to the branches. Hmmm, I wondered who they belonged to?

"Umm what do you remember?" I asked, trying to be casual, while I saddled the horses. If I was being completely honest I had no idea as to how we got to the Lake of Avalon or why and I was hoping he could say something that gave me a clue.

"I remember a girl, Sophie, no Sophia and I asked my father something, I asked him..." he stopped suddundly and spun around so quick he scared the horse. "What was I thinking?" He asked appalled.

Oh, right Sophia. Now I remembered. So if Sohpia appearance only happened days before, it was true. I really went back. But, how was I to explain what happened to Arthur, when I could barley remember that far back?

"Ummm...you were angry at your father so you came out here to elope with her, but before you could I uh... I knocked you out?" I stuttered lightly, my words coming out slightly questioning but thankfully Arthur didn't seem to notice, turning my back to him so he wouldn't see the grimace on my face.

"You mangaged to knock me out?" He questioned incredulously.

"Yup with a lump of wood." I laughed lightly feeling a very strong sense of déjà vu pass over me. I looked over my right shoulder just in time to see the disbelief written clearly on his face.

"Than why am I all wet?"

"Well when I knocked you out you were near the lake, and... and I didn't catch you in time..." I trailed off in an almost whisper at hearing how pathetic my excuse sounded.

"Oh so you were just fine with letting the future King of Camelot drown just because you couldn't catch me in time?!" Giving him a small glare I was about to explain to him that I didn't do it on _purpose_, however, he cut me off before I could. "What happened to Sophia any way?"

Gritting my teeth in irration at the sound of her name coming out of his mouth I quickly turned back to the hourses again before he could see the anger in my eyes.

"She left." I snapped.

"Oh..." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at Arthur's answer. Oh yes this certaintly was the future King we all needed in Camelot.

"Well than lets get going. It is getting rather late and I want Gauis to check out my head injury. I think you did permanent damage to my memory."

I gased when he mentioned Gaius. _Of course_, Gaius was still alive. Giggling to myself the smile was back on my face in seconds. untying the horses quickly from the branch I looked over my shoulder at Arthur who was sill re-adjusting his armor.

"Arthur, hurry up, we have to go see Gauis." I smiled widely, already mounting my horse.

"See Merlin this is the kind of concern you should show more oft- Hey wait for me." But I was only half listening, as I pulled on the reigns of the horse a little to show Arthur just how impatient I was.

I wanted nothing more than to ride to Camelot already, but I couldn't leave Arthur. I had already lost him once, I'd be damned if I would let it happing again. This time I would things right, I would protect him the way I was meant to and should have from the beginning. This time I was ready to do anything and everyting to save Arthur.

_Anything._

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**Hello I am so glad everyone is liking this story and hope to keep it up.**

**IMPORTANT: I am sorry if some of you misunderstood me when I said this will be cannon it will NOT be. Merlin and Arthur WILL have their happy ending :) What I meant was it will be cannon in respects to following the episodes, THATS IT. Other wise this is AU I promise :)**


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